Connecting with Young People in Trouble by Brierley Andi Cherry Lisa

Author:Brierley, Andi, Cherry, Lisa [Brierley, Andi, Cherry, Lisa]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781909976894
Barnesnoble:
Publisher: Waterside Press
Published: 2021-03-16T00:00:00+00:00

‘focus on shared history of trauma and victimisation which alleviates their searing sense of isolation, but usually at the price of having to deny their individual differences. Members can belong only if they conform to the common code.’

Although exploitations may of course be negative for young people, they are often the only interpersonal experiences on offer for that child. Helping children develop strategies to manage such relationships would seem the most effective approach in assisting them to navigate what is often a turbulent environment. If these children don’t trust us as services, then we need to question our approach. Otherwise, we are seemingly misusing our position of privilege by not recognising such day-to-day issues of survival. We should step into the dark room with them to bring them into the light, otherwise we may drag them out and make them fear the light altogether.

When Malcolm (not his real name) in my story exploited me aged 15, it was due to the fact that I didn’t feel he represented any risk to me. During my early years, almost every adult male I had around in the absence of my biological father was involved in varying levels of criminality and violence. Yes, I knew he sold drugs and he was also known to be violent but our identities were interconnected through our inability to access positive alternative relationships and experiences of intersectionality. It was of course exploitation; however, it has to be viewed within a wider relational context of marginalisation. Carlene Firmin et al (2020) relate this to be a component of ‘contextual safeguarding.’ Even within a community riddled with poverty, I knew most families who avoided my family and parents didn’t want their children to spend time with me, bringing a sense of isolation. Schools were unable to help me manage my behaviour or help me self-regulate, and although I don’t blame school they rejected me and my school exclusion left me even more vulnerable to exploitation.

Had Malcolm approached most 15-year-olds for friendship, they would have avoided him like the plague because he would have represented someone they should fear. However, aged 15, I had experienced care, school exclusion, incredible instability and relationships that created an identity that left me vulnerable to exploitation by him with no relational safety net. In other words, my relationship with Malcolm was a symptom of my life issues and identity, not the cause. He exploited my vulnerability and also used my prison sentence to avoid going to prison himself. You would probably agree if you have read the full story in my earlier book. However I do not believe our relationships started off with exploitation in mind. We found each other through our experience of drug use and marginalisation. He then used his position of power in the relationship to protect himself from harm, at my expense. It may sound like I am defending someone who exploited me in various ways! I am not, just demonstrating the relational experience at the time and how I feel about it now.

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